Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
