just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize