11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Reggie can tackle my bush.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
