Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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