I hate all girls vehemently.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
