he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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