it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
