I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
