We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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