We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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