If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
