I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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