those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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