Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
