Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
