Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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