Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
