"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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