this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
