1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize