i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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