he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
