I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
it hurts more in the daytime
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
