Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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