His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
