am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
