problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
