I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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