He asked to "fluff my boner.."
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Those nachos came to me in a dream
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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