Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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