nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
