I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
