At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
