Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
