Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize