My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
where am i from again
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
