You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize