And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize