i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
