Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
