He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
