OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
She's like a pop up book from hell.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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