If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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