So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
