wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
