Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
