Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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