Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
