my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
