We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Randomize
