I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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