What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
