He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
