I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I won't apologize to a one balled man
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
