Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
