The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
