Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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