My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
