i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
