the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
